“even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.” (2 Corinthians 12:7 NLT)
God showed me the reason I have such an emotional, mental, and physical torment in the memory of my darkest hour of my former self, and the sin that was so evident (and the cause of those days), was not to be shared (as has been evident based on my internal response each time I am forced to relive those memories) , but a brutally honest reminder of how much He has truly released me from, and how much he loves me. The great debt has been overpaid, my life so radically and wonderfully transformed, and the realization of God’s true love not only for myself, but for all others is clearly written upon my heart and mind, even evoking a physical response of trembling at the mere realization of it all. God is so gracious, loving, and pursues me violently without regard for human understanding or permission. His ways are so wonderfully and radically polar opposite of our ability to rationalize or comprehend. He truly is LOVE. Yes, love is an actual person. I am forever indebted to Him. My life is not enough for payment, and I gladly embrace my servitude to Him. I lovingly and passionately am proud to serve such a great Master, Teacher, Friend, King, and Father. His love knows no limits, and reaches far beyond time and space, piercing through bone, flesh, spirit, mind, and soul. My heart is saturated with the fingerprints of His love, and over pours because of the limits of which I cannot hold it. Thank you King Jesus for paying my debt. I am so truly grateful, and proudly bear this thorn of remembrance in honor of all that you have done for me. No one could ever love me as completely as you do. All praise, honor, glory, and love go to you. You alone deserve it. I love you my Lord and Saviour.
